Fifteen year-old Ben received no less than four computer games for his birthday, and his parents are wondering how to keep him from spending every day of the summer in front of a screen while they are away at work.

It can be difficult to impose rules upon time spent in front of the TV, computer, video game console, DVD and handheld game players for teens. But it’s not impossible. Your focus should be to help your teen achieve lifestyle balance.

Teens love the unstructured pace of summer, freed from schoolwork and after-school activities. Left to their own devices, teens could easily splurge the whole summer staying up late on electronic games and sleeping until noon. These are the top ten ways to help your teens manage screen time this summer, without destroying your valuable parenting relationship.

• Redirect to other stimulation. Have sports equipment ready, bikes in good repair, and passes to the city’s amenities available. Encourage your teens to go swimming, take a bike ride, go to movies, get a job, and work on projects over the summer.
  
  
• Be involved and knowledgeable of where your children go on the internet. Watch their games and those with whom they play. Spend time building the parent-teen relationship by taking an interest in their on-line gaming pursuits and, if you can, play with them. It’s easier to direct them to additional and alternative activities after you have connected for a while in their playground.
  
  
• Don’t punish – problem-solve! It shouldn’t be a battle between you. It’s you and your teens against the problem. You are on the same team! Find a way to work the rules together to everyone’s satisfaction and enjoy the increased connection in your relationship.
  
  
• Model a balanced life. Invite your teens to participate in your pursuit of a balanced life. Many children will become active if parents or the whole family is involved.
  
  
• Negotiate! Make good use of family conferences, “parent concern” consulting and negotiation sessions to discuss time limits that meet everyone’s needs.
  
  
• Contract. Draw up a weekly or monthly agreement with limits agreed upon by parent and teen together. Display in a prominent place. Point to it when you hear complaints. Discuss when the contract is up for renewal.
  
  
• Change the environment. Sometimes it’s more practical to change the setting than to try to change peoples’ minds. Discourage bedroom computers, and move gaming systems into the main family area. A single unit for teens to share might cause argument over screen time, but could lead to development of negotiation skills. On the other hand, several computers networked together could encourage massively multi-player online games, when you’ll have many teens at your house and your fridge will be empty, but at least you’ll know where they are, what they are doing and who their friends are.
  
  
• Teach your teen the art of haggling! “Hey, Eric. Wow, you reached another level! Good for you! But I need you to do the dishes. At what time would you like to tackle them?” Insist upon a time, and haggle if you hear an unreasonable offer. Teens are more likely to abide by their agreements if they have negotiated them.
  
  
• If you can’t beat them, join them. If you are utterly desperate, a drastic tactic is to achieve a higher-level character than your teen. It might reduce the game coolness factor. But you might find yourself addicted.
  
  
• Reframe the situation. If you are concerned about the amount of time that your teen is spending on games or chatting on Facebook, try to focus upon the positives of such technology. It is possible that your teen is connecting with an overseas cousin in an online game, or keeping in touch via Facebook with friends who have moved away. Gaming keeps the mind sharp over the summer by stimulating the problem-solving, analytical and organizational centers of the brain. It’s an engaging, enjoyable way to exercise mental agility.
  

Everyone needs a vacation from time to time, and screen time is one way for teens to chill out. When I nag my son too much about his gaming, he replies with a smile, “Sure Mom. I’ll quite right now. Would you prefer me to be downtown selling cocaine?” He does have a point!

Judy Arnall, is a Speaker, Mother of five “wired” children, and author of “Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery” (Professional Parenting Canada 2007)
www.professionalparenting.ca